Working in a co-teaching-style relationship is more than just having a colleague. It’s like being thrown into a marriage with 20-plus kids and knowing that it has to work, at least for a year. Ideally, these teaching marriages work out wonderfully, and everyone, from students to parents to the teachers themselves, has a year that is fulfilling and supportive. Sometimes, however, those teaching styles don’t align or personalities clash for one reason or another. 

Whether you are joining a new teaching team or need to revitalize your current one, we spoke with experts on how to start the year off well, strengthen collaboration, reduce conflict, and ultimately create healthier classrooms for everyone within those four walls. 

Define Your School’s or Team’s Co-teaching Approach 

Co-teaching can be quite the confusing label for a teaching time, as the types of co-teaching styles or categories vary greatly. If you don’t know exactly what your school’s style is or what your team’s approach is, it can easily make for more conflict. Sometimes, the specifics of co-teaching might vary depending on the activity (like if one teacher is leading the morning meeting and the other is supporting). Still, overall, each school should have a clearly defined co-teaching model for its teachers to follow. 

• One person teaches while one observes: One teacher is directly teaching or leading students, while the second teacher is observing and taking notes.
• One person teaches while one assists: One teacher is directly teaching or leading students, while the second teacher is helping the students or teachers as needed. 
• Parallel teaching: Each teacher is teaching the same information to two different groups at the same time.
• Station or center teaching: Each teacher is at their own center or station and teaching that specific information as students rotate between centers.
• Alternative teaching: One teacher instructs the majority of the students while the other teacher leads a small group as needed.
• Co-teaching or tag-team teaching: Both teachers are teaching and collaborating at the same time throughout the whole day.

Start the Year Off Right

Whether you are a new team or have been teaching together for years, starting off strong is key to having a successful year. That can look like discussing your “personal user manual” or work-style preferences of how you like to receive feedback, how you give feedback, your pet peeves, and anything else that a close colleague might need to know. From there, dive into your goals and growth points, and make a shared agreement. 

Remember that you have the same goals.

Co-teaching can feel similar to a marriage or a co-parenting relationship, says Karen Aronian, Ed.D., a former New York City public school teacher and founder of Aronian Education Design. “Intentionally, you have to think about what’s in the best interest of the individual in front of me, the classroom in front of me, the school in front of me, or the system in front of me,” she says. Keep that in mind, and then (the more challenging part) you’ve got to remove the self or the personalities in the room. Focus on the main objectives: having a solid classroom to support the students. 

Make and revisit a shared agreement.

Similar to how classrooms have agreements, rules, or expectations, don’t shy away from that type of structure with your teaching team. Make it together, write it down or put it in a doc, and then come back to it weekly or monthly, recommends Aronian. Look at refining and redirecting efforts to continue to meet those shared goals. 

You can also revisit your user manuals or use a check-in template, where each teacher rates themselves on how they feel they are contributing, how they think their co-teacher is contributing, how they feel each person’s time is being used, overall satisfaction, etc. 

Avoid people-pleasing.

Paris Smith, a licensed clinical social worker and therapist with Mending Minds Mental Health Collective, specializes in people-pleasing, something she often sees with her teaching clients. You have to be honest with yourself about how much extra support you need or what your expectations really are, Smith says. “Maybe one thing isn’t a big deal, but all of those things combined can be a pipeline to resentment,” she added. Before you say yes to many things or agree just to keep things manageable, take a moment to reassess what you genuinely need or want. Keep practicing this with yourself throughout the year. 

If necessary, bring in a third party.

Just like in a marriage, sometimes a little mediation is necessary. If you and a co-teacher hit a wall where you simply can’t agree—and frustration is taking over—bring in support early and often. Schedule mediation when everyone is still curious and open to solutions, says Ash Beckham, author of Step Up, TED Talk speaker, and leadership coach, as “that’s when the conversation can open up to a much more creative solution.” If anyone is too upset, angry, or anxious, reschedule—the meeting will likely be unproductive. When both teachers can show empathy, a third party can help by asking questions such as: What do you need to move past this? Can you imagine a scenario where you work well together? What would that look like?

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Practice Having Difficult Conversations

Having a challenging conversation with anyone can be tricky, let alone someone that you still need to work with daily. Beckham recommends setting ground rules to both start the year and also to start the conversation. The main rule? “Assuming the best possible intent,” Beckham says. “You’ve got to assume that the other party is coming from a place where you all care about the kids and the classroom.” When starting conversations with anyone, assuming positive intentions leads to the start of a much better dynamic that gets you to the point of curiosity.

To start a difficult conversation, set a time to meet rather than springing it in your partner.

That way, everyone involved is in a good mindset to promote that curiosity, rather than being rushed, grumpy, or hungry. Use “I” statements like “I feel like something is off between us. … I feel like I want to address and figure out how to best solve for this challenge. … How do you feel about talking about it? Do you want to schedule a time?” 

From there, continue those “I” statements.

Discuss how you are feeling. “I felt undermined when this happened. … I want us to be on the same page. … I work better in a structured environment. … How can we meet in the middle?” 

Take a moment to check in regularly.

Taking this time is an investment in your co-teaching relationship. Not only will it benefit your day-to-day work life, but it also helps your students and the classroom overall. “When you have two teachers who are different in approaches or habits and you bring that into the classroom,” Beckham says, “it’ll make for an amazing classroom. We have to see that as an opportunity, that how far apart a teaching team might be on certain things is just potential to be a huge win for the classroom. It’s all about mindset.”  

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