Dear We Are Teachers,

When I accepted my current teaching position, I was promised regular classroom support—an aide to help with behavior, interventionists for struggling students, and a mentor teacher for guidance. Months into the school year, none of that has materialized. Instead, I’m drowning in paperwork, managing behavior issues solo, and scrambling to meet impossible demands with zero backup. Every time I ask about the promised support, I get vague excuses about “staffing shortages” or “budget cuts.” I’m exhausted and feeling duped. How do I advocate for myself without putting a target on my back?

—Supportless and Stressed

Dear S.A.S.,

You were duped! You were promised support, and that promise was broken.

One of two things happened. Either those supports were in place when you interviewed and they have since disappeared due to budget cuts (which is possible), or those supports were never in place but your principal fudged a bit to get you to take the position. Regardless of which one it is, it’s still the job of your school leaders to connect you with alternative support.

I hate when teachers are made to feel sheepish for asking for the bare minimum. If anyone should feel sheepish, it’s your principal.

If you’ve already checked in with your principal about the promised support, I would recommend going into an “observation period” over the next couple of months. During this time:

1. Document everything. Keep track of what your admin promised as well as what they delivered. Include dates, emails, and examples of how the lack of support is impacting your students.
2. Find allies … quietly. Talk to trusted colleagues. Chances are others are feeling the same strain. Talking to others will not only provide support, it can also show you whether anyone else has the level of support you were promised.
3. Ask, don’t accuse. When you are ready to raise concerns, phrase them as questions. Instead of saying, “You said I’d have an aide and I don’t,” try, “I remember support staff being part of the onboarding conversation. Is that something I can expect next year?”

Finally, know your limits. If you’re truly drowning, don’t be afraid to say, “This isn’t sustainable for me.”

You deserve the support you were promised. Speaking up doesn’t make you difficult—it makes you a professional advocating for what’s right.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I’m in my first year as an academic coach at a new school, and I’m still finding my footing—especially when it comes to giving feedback to teachers I’ve never worked with before. On top of that, I’m dealing with a personal challenge: I’m highly sensitive to scents, and many classrooms I visit have plug-in air fresheners or candle warmers. These trigger instant migraines.

I know the most direct solution is to speak with each teacher individually, but I worry that doing so might come off like I’m policing their space, especially since I’m new. Would it be more appropriate to ask the principal to send a general reminder to staff about scent sensitivities? What’s the best way to approach this without damaging relationships or seeming overly demanding?

—Scents and Sensibility

Dear S.A.S.,

Whew! Navigating a new school culture while offering instructional support is no small feat. And doing it with what sounds like frequent migraines? Are you a goddess?

Your concern about scent sensitivity is completely valid. Here’s what I’d do:

Just this once, talk to the principal first. In almost every other situation, I’d advocate talking to the teacher first. But in this case, when it’s lots of teachers violating a wellness guideline (tons of kids are sensitive to strong smells too), there needs to be a reminder of school policy. Say, “I’m loving my new role here at Memorial Elementary. I wanted to bring up an issue I’m having. I’m very sensitive to strong smells, and several teachers I visit use scents in their classrooms. Would you mind sending out an all-school reminder that doesn’t single anyone out?” Leaning on a school-wide norm helps steer it away from a personal issue.

If it makes you feel braver, think about the kids with similar sensitivities you’ll be helping. The key is to approach the situation with empathy and professionalism, which you’re clearly already doing.

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Dear We Are Teachers,

Every so often, our principal invites retirement planners to campus, usually sweetening the deal with cookies or a “free” lunch. The catch? They’re clearly hoping to sign us up for some kind of retirement plan. I already contribute to my district’s retirement system, so I’m wondering: Should I be considering these outside plans too? Is my current setup enough, or am I missing something?

—Cookie-Rich but Clarity-Poor

Dear C.R.B.C.P.,

You’re right to be skeptical of a free cookie. Even if they’re offering a white chocolate chip cranberry oatmeal cookie (my personal fave), the financial decisions they’re pitching deserve a much closer look.

Most public school teachers participate in a state-run pension system, typically a defined-benefit plan that pays out a guaranteed monthly amount based on years of service and final salary. These pensions are a solid foundation, but they’re rarely enough on their own.

So, should you consider a supplemental retirement plan like a 403(b) or 457(b)? In most cases, yes. These plans allow you to save additional money, often with tax advantages, and can help fill the gap between your pension and your actual retirement needs. Just be cautious: Some of the planners who visit schools may push high-fee products or annuities that aren’t in your best interest.

Rather than the cookie hawkers, I would recommend speaking first with a fee-only financial advisor—someone who doesn’t earn commissions and can give you unbiased advice.

Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.

Dear We Are Teachers,

This year, I have my best friend’s child in my class. I love my friend and her kid dearly, but he is … a handful. He’s bright, funny, and energetic—but also disruptive, argumentative, and constantly pushing boundaries in my classroom. Normally I’d manage it like I do with any other student, but the fact that I’m close friends with his mom makes everything complicated. Do I tell her the truth when she casually asks, “How’s he doing in your class?” Or should I downplay it to avoid hurting her feelings? I don’t want to damage our friendship, but I also don’t want to compromise my professionalism. So far I’ve been staying pretty vague. How do I handle this without losing either my friend or my sanity?

—How Do I Say “Your Kid’s Bonkers, Claire”?