LIFE SKILLS & VALUE EDUCATION – CLASS-X – UNIT –4 Effective Relationships: Adding Joy to Our Life

 Building Understanding

The first relationships we have in our lives are with our immediate family, including our parents, siblings, and our grandparents. Next come aunts, uncles, and cousins, which can be counted as extended family. The earliest and closest bonds that we have go on to form the basis for all relationships we have as adults. If we have a secure, happy relationship with parents, there are higher chances of us having secure, healthy relationships with our spouse and friends, too. On the other hand, if the bonding with parents is not secure and caused anxiety in us as kids, we will carry forward that anxiety and insecurity into other relationships as well.

An average adult forms a number of relationships in his/her life-with friends, partner, partner’s family, colleagues, neighbours, their own children, and so on. All of these relationships serve a purpose. For instance, the relationship with one’s partner provides emotional and financial support, social security, a family structure etc. A relationship with friends is meant to be a place where one can express oneself and have fun, as well as do things related to shared interests. However, these examples are those of the ideal nature. In reality, not all relationships with friends or partner are fulfilling or supportive. Relationships that add anxiety and stress to your life are unhealthy relationships.

Relationships are an important aspect in determining a person’s mental health. Healthy, effective, or valuing relationships are supposed to give an individual a sense of comfort and joy instead of being a stressor. Healthy relationships can even act as a healing space for other issues in one’s life providing a sense of support. Strained or ineffective relationships, on the other hand, can drain the sense of joy out of a person and turn into an immense burden.

So how does one distinguish an effective, healthy relationship from an ineffective, unhealthy one?

The main characteristics of an effective relationship are given below:

• Mutual respect: Both individuals should have respect for each other. This doesn’t only mean talking politely; it includes respect for each other’s ideas, values, and beliefs, even if they are different from your own.

• Trust: While it is not wise to trust someone blindly, there should be a basic level of trust between two people. If you doubt every reaction and action of a person, you cannot have a peaceful relationship with them. Similarly, if you feel that the other person doubts you, you will be on guard all the time around them.
• Good communication: This involves being able to exchange ideas and opinions clearly and calmly If most conversations turn into arguments or clashes then the relationship is not healthy.

• Authenticity/individuality: You should be able to feel comfortable enough around a person to speak and act in a way that comes naturally to you. If you constantly find yourself having to pretend for the sake of the other person, the relationship cannot be healthy or long-lasting.

• Fighting fair: It is normal to have differences of opinion. However, in an effective relationship, conflicts are solved calmly and not allowed to be dragged too much. Abusing, yelling, silent treatment, etc all mean that the relationship is unhealthy.

Benefits of Effective Relationships

• Better mental and physical health: Happy relationships with people ensure that our stress levels stay low, and this leads to better heart health and a stronger immune system. High stress caused by being in unhealthy relationships is harmful and can lead to anxiety, insomnia, and depression.
• Better mood overall: A person who is getting the required support and affection from their close relationships is more likely to be cheerful, optimistic, and more productive. A happier person is also less likely to fall ill and has higher levels of self-confidence.

Quicker recovery in tough times: None of us have a challenge-free life. Having valuable and healthy relationships helps us face challenges in a stronger and more confident manner and also recover more quickly from setbacks. For example, if you happen to score poorly in your exams, and your parents, instead of yelling at you, support you through it, you will be more upbeat about your next exam.

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