Life Skills & Value Education – CLASS-VIII – UNIT-2 Empathy

Empathy helps you see things from another person’s perspective, sympathize with their emotions, and build stronger relationships—at work, school, and in your personal life. Here’s a story of Finger v/s Thumbs.

One day, the tongue sent a message to the brain, the body’s boss, to have some sweets. It decided to take some sweets from a narrow jar. So, it passed on the message to the hands. But the thin fingers could not penetrate inside the narrow jar as the thumbs were too fat and could not bend as the fingers could. So, there was a fight between the eight fingers and the two thumbs about who was better. The eight fingers decided they were slim, flexible and beautiful, whereas the thumbs were fat, slow and ugly. So, they voted out the two thumbs, causing them to disappear from the hands. When the brain learned about this, it said, “you fools! What have you done? Every ‘body parts’ has a role to play. If one part does not work as per its role, we have to help that part or take help from others rather than criticising it.” Fingers argued, “But, what good were those ugly-looking fat thumbs?”

Pinky finger said, “We made a blunder by voting the thumbs out. We will also miss the thumbs- up sign that we all are proud of.” Middle finger said, “We will not be able to snap fingers. That was fun.” All the fingers realised their mistake. They understood how difficult life would be without thumbs. They requested the boss of the body, the brain, to bring back the thumbs. The thumbs happily agreed. After all, they knew that every ‘body part’ has a role to play, and bullying someone for not being able to do everything that is expected of them is mean and cruel.

So, we all should be empathetic. To feel connected to others is hugely important for our optimal well-being. It is the very basis of human relationships and helps us to feel valued, loved and cared for… Being connected to others is also good for our mental well-being. On the other hand, persons with disabilities should also be more courageous. They should keep in mind the words of Stephen Hawking:“My advice to other disabled people would be to concentrate on things your disability doesn’t prevent you from doing well and don’t regret things it interferes with. Don’t be disabled in spirit as well as physically.”

Empathy vs Sympathy

While the two words are often used interchangeably, there is a difference between sympathy and empathy. Unlike empathy, sympathy doesn’t involve sharing what someone else feels. When you’re sympathetic, you care about the person’s problem or misfortune and feel sorry for their suffering, but you don’t fully feel their pain. for example, if you’re sympathetic you understand why they feel sad and are grieving, and feel sorry for their loss. If you’re empathetic, though, you can also feel the grief they’re going through. Sympathy is more of a feeling of pity for the person, while empathy is more a feeling of compassion for them.

Empathy is about feeling with people, not just feeling for them. When you are empathetic, you are not just guessing how someone feels. You are right there with them, feeling it too. Thus, empathy and sympathy are both about caring for others but they are a bit different. Empathy is when you truly understand and feel someone else emotion. It’s like stepping into their shoes. Sympathy on the other hand is more about feeling sorry for someone without necessarily feeling their emotions same way they do.

Why is empathy important? The benefits of empathy:

Empathy is the glue that holds our interaction together. When we understand what someone else is going through, we can respond in a way that makes sense and feels authentic. Here are a few of the many mental and physical benefits to being more empathetic.

Empathy has an important role to play in your life. First, it can strengthen your bonds with the people you interact with. As you try to understand others, you also make them feel heard and understood. They’re then more likely to take the time to empathize with you as well. This deepens your relationship and promotes that feeling of connection that all of us desire.

Empathy isn’t something that you either have or don’t have. Some people have a high degree of empathy, while others have lower empathy.

If your empathic abilities are on the lower end of the spectrum, you might feel indifferent to other people’s pain. For example, if a friend’s house is burglarized, you might say or think, “Well, that wouldn’t have happened if you were more careful.” Or maybe you look down on family members who are dealing with financial hardship and chalk it up to their failure to work hard. You might even hold the misguided belief that bad things like that would never happen to you. Low empathy can also lead you to believe that the people around you are too sensitive. You might constantly be surprised that your friends are offended by your jokes. Maybe you don’t understand how your words and actions wound your loved ones. This can lead to all sorts of arguments and misunderstandings.

How can we become more empathetic:

Remember that developing empathy doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey where each step you take makes a difference to your interactions, your relationships and your mental health. So, remember be patient with yourself.

• Be curious about other people’s experiences
• Listen with your full attention
• Pay attention to non-verbal clues
• Question your biases and what you ‘think’ you know
• Ask questions instead of making assumptions
• Cultivate humility by stepping out of your comfort zone
• Don’t jump to conclusion about how someone feels
• Offer your support, whether it’s a helping hand or a listening ear

There’s a wealth of research that suggests having high levels of empathy is good for us- it’s associated with better mental health, better interpersonal relationships and increase happiness.

-Brown, a professor in Georgetown University’s College of Arts & Science

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